You are not an idiot if you use NodeJS

Just saw this. A Youtube rant by Brandon Wirtz clarifying for us all how stupid NodeJS is. From January 2012.

Most excellent. Well played. Even the title is deliciously Colbert-esque: “Node.JS Is Stupid And If You Use It So Are You”. Highly Recommended if you like nerd rants, and I mean that in the best way.

Even so, I disagree. Mostly I don’t disagree with the specific points Mr Wirtz makes, but I do disagree that those points are important, and I also disagree with his conclusion. Be assured: You are not an idiot if you use NodeJS.

Mr Wirtz’s main point is that NodeJS is based on JavaScript, which historically has been slow. Very slow, when compared to C/C++, pretty slow when compared to a modern Java or C#. JavaScript running in v8, which is what you get with NodeJS, is Fast fast FAST compared to JavaScript from 1997 running in an interpreter. But even so it is still has been slow compared to other options like C and Java.

So, why is this not a disqualifier?

First, lately, v8 micro-benchmarks (example 1, example 2) are showing that JavaScript can match the performance of C or Java, or even beat the performance of Java. I don’t put much stock in micro-benchmarks, because they are too simplistic and the performance they measure is often not indicative of real world scenarios. But even so, these benchmarks seem to show that the performance of JavaScript running on v8 is at least comparable. JS may not be faster than Java, but at least it is not orders of magnitude slower.

But more importantly, the performance of JavaScript is not a disqualifier for NodeJS because writing JavaScript is fun. People like it. People like coding in JavaScript, obviously, and many people are attracted to the idea of one-language-everywhere. Not in the Write-Once-Run-Anywhere (WORA) sense of Java circa 1997, but in the learn-once-write-for-anywhere sense. Just about everyone learns JavaScript. (though many of us learn it poorly. Douglas Crockford has said in his “Good Parts” lectures, that the people who know curly-brace languages like Java and C often begin to use JavaScript without actually learning it, because it’s forgiving, and they can actually limp through. In general, people don’t learn JavaScript very rigorously. As an example of this, not very long ago a respected colleague observed that JavaScript is “Not OO”, and many people have told me JavaScript, the language, is never JIT compiled.)

The obvious comparison is Java, which is a big pain to write. Building something in Java often requires very verbose code, lots of boilerplate, class structure and explicit interface implementation, and so on. The polar opposite of JavaScript.

To my mind, the popularity of NodeJS is similar to the popularity of PHP. People like both of these flawed environments because they mostly work and they are easy to use. NodeJS may be slow, or it may not be. But that is sort of irrelevant. Slow compared to what? It is theoretically slow, but practically speaking, it’s plenty fast for most applications. It’s faster than PHP or Ruby. Also, we have an embarrassment of Gigahertz riches and if we choose to frivolously spend CPU cycles on JavaScript engines, so what?

Also, unlike Mr Wirtz, I don’t care about whether the marketing around NodeJS is accurate or not. They say it’s really fast, and maybe that’s not generally true. But I don’t worry about that. The bottom line is: people like NodeJS because it’s nice and easy and friendly and familiar, and fun damnit, and the performance is plenty good enough.

That doesn’t mean that JavaScript or NodeJS is the answer to all programming questions. It isn’t. For large projects I’d be concerned about type integrity (though we can try using Microsoft’s TypeScript for that), or the hierarchy of modules. I think npm kindof just punted on that. Also the explosion of modules in npm makes it clear that NodeJS is a technology that is not quite stable. Lots of things are changing, very rapidly. There’s good and bad there, but surely the relative safety and stability of Java v6 offers a stark comparison. So NodeJS is not the answer to every problem, but it is a good answer to many programming problems. You’re not stupid if you use NodeJS.

If I were advising a young aspiring programmer today, I’d tell them to learn JavaScript and Go.

6 thoughts on “You are not an idiot if you use NodeJS

  1. GR Reply

    There seem to be a lot of dumb things about Node Js! For example, what on earth are…

    “__dirname” and “__filename” ?

    Besides looking childishly ridiculous, they’re certainly not constants or they’d contain a value straight off that you can just assign to a variable like:

    ThePath =__dirname;

    But you can’t do that without processing __dirname to attain a value! So if they’re not constants then the only other remaining description for them is…


    And this has to be the first time in the history of programming languages that the author saw fit to force variable names (or labels if you prefer) down programmer’s throats for no apparent gain!

    So there you go, just one simple example proving that Node Js is DUMB!

  2. Ruediger Moeller Reply

    I don’t think the video is serious :-). Hilarious.

    1. dpc Reply

      I think the video is completely serious, though he’s hyperbolic in his style.

      1. Manav Misra Reply

        Is this video gone now? I love his rant. It’s one of those things that makes me smile during a stressful day!

        1. dpc Reply

          That video is gone, yes.

  3. Iharob Al Asimi Reply

    Writing javascript is fun? what?

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